Posts Tagged ‘ Christian Teen Dating ’

Tips for Christian Dating

There is all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than Christian dating. Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating. However, even among Christians there are differences as to whether you should or should not date. The choice is up to your and your parents, but Christian teens should still know God’s perspective on dating.

Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating. You see the magazines, TV shows, and movies that tell you how you’re young, and you should date a lot of people before you get married. You see certain “role models” jumping from one dating relationship to another.

Yet God has more in store for you than just jumping from one relationship to another. He is clear on whom you should date and why you should date. When it comes to Christian dating, you live according to a different standard – God’s. Yet it’s not just about following the rules. There are some solid reasons why God asks us to live a certain way, and dating is no different.

Why Should Christian Teens Date (Or Not Date)?

While most people have differing opinions about dating, it is one area of the Bible where there is not a lot of information. However, Christian teens can get some idea of God’s expectations from certain scripture verses:

Genesis 2:24 (King James Version)

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Proverbs 4:23 (King James Version)

23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (King James Version)

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

These three scriptures give insight into the Christian dating life. We need to realize that God means for us to meet the ONE person that we are meant to marry. According to Genesis, a man will leave home to marry one women to become one flesh. You do not need to date a lot of people – just the right one.

Also, Christian teens need to guard their hearts. The word “love” is thrown around with little thought. Yet, we often live for love. We live for God’s love first and foremost, but we also live for the love of others. While there are many definitions of love, 1Corinthians tells us how God defines love.

It is love that should drive Christian teens to date, but it should not be the shallow version of love. When you date it should be taken seriously. You should know the person you are dating and know their beliefs.

You should check your potential boyfriend against the values listed in 1 Corinthians. Ask yourself if the two of you are patient and kind to one another. Are you envious of one another? Do you boast about one another or to each other? Go through the characteristics to measure your relationship.

Only Date Believers

God is pretty picky on this one, and the Bible makes this issue very clear.

Deuteronomy 7:3 (King James Version)

3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (King James Version)

14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

The Bible seriously warns us about dating non-Christians. While you may not be looking at marrying anyone at the moment, it should always be in the back of your head. Why get involved emotionally with someone that you should not marry? This does not mean you cannot be friends with that person, but you should not date them.

This also means that you should avoid “missionary dating,” which is dating a non-believer in the hopes that you can convert him or her. Your intentions may be noble, but the relationships rarely work out. Some Christians have even gotten married to non-believers, hoping that they can convert their spouse, but often the relationships end up in disaster.

So make sure you are only dating those who share your beliefs. Otherwise you may find that your relationship is a struggle rather than a joy.

Be careful of recreational dating, where you date for the sake of dating. God calls us to love one another, but the scripture is clear that He asks us to be careful. While love is a beautiful thing, the breaking off of relationships is hard. There is a reason they call it a “broken heart.” God understands the power in love and the damage a broken heart can do. This is why it is important for Christian teens to really pray, know their hearts, and listen to God when they decide to date.

Source:  By Kelli Mahoney, About.com Guide

When Your Christian Teen Starts Dating

Christian teens are like any other adolescent. When they start to grow up, they also start to form attachments to members of the opposite sex. While most parents would love their children to stay little forever, eventually the issue of dating will come up. Even though your teenager is a Christian, it does not necessarily mean he or she can make dating decisions without guidance. Here is some advice as your child enters into this new experience:

Know God’s Will

According to the Bible, it is God’s will that people fall in love and get married (1 Corinthians 7:1-7). Where parents and teens tend to disagree is the method of getting to that wedding day. However parents do need to keep in mind that falling in love is part of God’s plan.

Know What You Believe About Dating

There is a group of Christians that does not believe teens should be dating at all, and there are people on the other side that believe dating is how you know the right person when he or she comes along. Most parents, though, fall between the two opposites. They believe that Christian teens should date responsibly and not just date for the sake of dating. Knowing where you fall in the spectrum will help you set rules later.

Talk to Your Teen About Dating

This is one of the most difficult and often overlooked steps by parents, yet it is one of the most important parts of leading your Christian teen down the right path. While neither one of you may feel totally comfortable talking about dating, sex, temptation, or feelings, it is important that your teen understands your perspective. It is also important that you listen to your child when he or she speaks. When the two of you understand each other, trust and openness is built up. It forms better relationships.

Have Ground Rules

As you start to notice your teen’s growing interest in members of the opposite sex you may want to start thinking about the rules you want to set. Be sure to not just se the rules, but also explain where the ground rules come from. Also, be willing to discuss some exceptions to the rules, like a later curfew when your teen goes to a school dance. Be sure to allow your teen to have some input on your rules so that he or she feels heard. Teens who feel they have some say over the rules usually follow them much better.

Take a Deep Breath

Many parents of Christian teens feel some anxiety when their teen goes off on a first date. It’s okay. If you trust your teen to date, then you need to let go a little bit. Try to do things that get your mind off of the date. Read. See a movie. If it helps, offer your teenager a cell phone so he or she can call you if needed. As time goes on you may not like the dating, but you will get used to it.

Source:  Kelli Mahoney, About.com Guide