Tips for Christian Dating

There is all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than Christian dating. Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating. However, even among Christians there are differences as to whether you should or should not date. The choice is up to your and your parents, but Christian teens should still know God’s perspective on dating.

Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating. You see the magazines, TV shows, and movies that tell you how you’re young, and you should date a lot of people before you get married. You see certain “role models” jumping from one dating relationship to another.

Yet God has more in store for you than just jumping from one relationship to another. He is clear on whom you should date and why you should date. When it comes to Christian dating, you live according to a different standard – God’s. Yet it’s not just about following the rules. There are some solid reasons why God asks us to live a certain way, and dating is no different.

Why Should Christian Teens Date (Or Not Date)?

While most people have differing opinions about dating, it is one area of the Bible where there is not a lot of information. However, Christian teens can get some idea of God’s expectations from certain scripture verses:

Genesis 2:24 (King James Version)

24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Proverbs 4:23 (King James Version)

23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (King James Version)

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

These three scriptures give insight into the Christian dating life. We need to realize that God means for us to meet the ONE person that we are meant to marry. According to Genesis, a man will leave home to marry one women to become one flesh. You do not need to date a lot of people – just the right one.

Also, Christian teens need to guard their hearts. The word “love” is thrown around with little thought. Yet, we often live for love. We live for God’s love first and foremost, but we also live for the love of others. While there are many definitions of love, 1Corinthians tells us how God defines love.

It is love that should drive Christian teens to date, but it should not be the shallow version of love. When you date it should be taken seriously. You should know the person you are dating and know their beliefs.

You should check your potential boyfriend against the values listed in 1 Corinthians. Ask yourself if the two of you are patient and kind to one another. Are you envious of one another? Do you boast about one another or to each other? Go through the characteristics to measure your relationship.

Only Date Believers

God is pretty picky on this one, and the Bible makes this issue very clear.

Deuteronomy 7:3 (King James Version)

3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (King James Version)

14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

The Bible seriously warns us about dating non-Christians. While you may not be looking at marrying anyone at the moment, it should always be in the back of your head. Why get involved emotionally with someone that you should not marry? This does not mean you cannot be friends with that person, but you should not date them.

This also means that you should avoid “missionary dating,” which is dating a non-believer in the hopes that you can convert him or her. Your intentions may be noble, but the relationships rarely work out. Some Christians have even gotten married to non-believers, hoping that they can convert their spouse, but often the relationships end up in disaster.

So make sure you are only dating those who share your beliefs. Otherwise you may find that your relationship is a struggle rather than a joy.

Be careful of recreational dating, where you date for the sake of dating. God calls us to love one another, but the scripture is clear that He asks us to be careful. While love is a beautiful thing, the breaking off of relationships is hard. There is a reason they call it a “broken heart.” God understands the power in love and the damage a broken heart can do. This is why it is important for Christian teens to really pray, know their hearts, and listen to God when they decide to date.

Source:  By Kelli Mahoney, About.com Guide

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  1. This is a great article and right on point. One problem I have observed with dating is in the purpose itself. As teenagers, dating should be a casual event. The goal should be exploring personalities of the opposite sex and creating an idea of desirable attributes which will make that special someone easier to identify in the future. This takes time, and as a teenager time is definitely on your side.

    Falling “in love” early in life and staying in a long term relationship can cause problems in the future. This is a result of a lack of experiences and an establishment of desirable attributes. The common problem is that we develop bad relationship habits at this early age. Someone who may have started out as a good person to date can soon turn out to be not so good. When we are “in love” at this young age, we often ignore the bad traits and justify them as “normal”. I strongly believe that this thought process causes many men and women to stay in abusive relationships later on in life.

    If one takes a casual approach to dating, you have an opportunity to comparatively decide what type of person you will want for your future spouse.

    Group dating is a great way to gain insight to the person you are interested in. How a person interacts with your friends and strangers in public can reveal a lot about a person. For example, if the person you are interested focuses only on you and does not interact with your friends, it could be a sign of an obsessive personality. No matter how good looking that person is, it would be best to just remain friends and not continue any kind of relationship.

    Intimacy should be reserved until marriage. I know its hard, but intimacy can block your better judgment and truly interferes with learning the true character of your person you are interested in.

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